Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Can I have it on a t-shirt? Please?


(Its from http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots.html, which makes me laugh...)

Pavlov's Cat's Christmas Meme

1. Do you have a tree and if so, what is hanging on it?

A selection of baubles, some little wooden decorations from Charlie's first Christmas, a couple of hand made decorations from day care in Alice Springs, and some Christmas lights. Tinsel was left in the garage in the interests of cat and baby safety.

2. What's the most successful piece of Christmas cooking you've done so far?

By common assent the roast rolled lamb. Helped along by the meat thermometer I was given for Christmas. For me personally the purple skinned sweet potato that is so sweet it caramelises on the bottom when you bake it, but it's a vegetable so it's okay!

3. And the least successful?

The Christmas tree shaped ice creams with toblerone and mars bar that I tried to make without Christmas tree moulds. But they tasted really good when I ate them all before Christmas.

4. Which bit of your Christmas shopping are you happiest with?

The steering wheel toy I found at Woolies. Charlie loves it and has already spent hours playing with it. He also loves Gemma's activity table, also from Woolies, and she likes it too.

5. Have you opened any of your presents yet? What was it / were they?

I opend all of them on Christmas day (yesterday). I got Pirates of the Carribean II, a cookbook for leftovers, a magazine rack, two meat thermometers (accidental double up), a baking dish, and a calendar. Plus $100 because my MIL didn't know what to get me. Apparently the magazine rack and meat thermometer (1) are for the house.

6. Do you have any bad Christmas associations that will have to be tackled?

Last time the step-father and FIL got together there was a bit of alcohol involved (FIL) and a bit of religious discussion going on (SF= v religious; FIL= confirmed atheist). I was hoping that wasn't going to happen again. Thankfully it didn't.

7. What's your favourite carol? Why?

Little Drummer Boy - I think it's the Bob Seger version. It's a Christmas Carol without being too Christmas carolly if you know what I mean.

8. Which part of your Christmas plans is most likely to go awry?

I thought it would be getting lunch on the table on time, but it was actually the MIL's Christmas present. We bought her some t-shirts in her favourite colours because we couldn't find the DVD she wanted (because it doesn't exist). Husband has taken her shopping in Canberra today to find something else as well.

9. What's your favourite thing about Christmas?

The food. This Christmas the Legacy Christmas pudding. Yum yum yum.

10. What's your least favourite thing about it?

Christmas decorations appearing in early November, endless musak Christmas carols, pressure to spend too much money.

11. What Christmassy thing have you seen or heard in the street or on the teeve or in the bolgosphere that has
a) touched your heart

The local posties put a home made card in our letterbox for us. A lovely gesture, much appreciated.

b) hit a nerve

That retailers are expecting people to spend more than 8 billion dollars in the post Christmas sales. Buy one less thing and give something to charity maybe.

or c) made you want to barf?

Not quite barf, but images on the news of people fighting over something in a shop made me leave the room. Is it really that important?

12. Who do you wish you had contacted to say Happy Christmas but haven't so far?

I probably should have called my brother yesterday, but I was so tired I forgot.

If you would like to see what Dr Cat had to say in her meme you can find it here.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Happy Crass Commercialisation Season

I would like to wish all my atheist friends a happy crass commercialisation season. I hope that you all get something lovely under the crass commercialisation tree, or at least something worth cashing in to buy something else.

On a serious note I hope you all have a lovely holiday with or without family, whichever is your preference and travel safely or stay at home safely (a serious concern with the number of suicidal cupboards afflicting For Battlers lately).

For those of you with new family members this Xmas don't be upset when they prefer the paper the gifts were wrapped in. With a bit of effort you can get them to gaze at their lovely gifts for about 5 seconds before going back to the paper. Makes it all worthwhile.

We started our own season of cheer this morning by being late to the neighbours Xmas Champagne Breakfast. We arrived just as everyone was clearing their plates, so we lied and said we ate with the kids before coming. Then we sent Charlie off to be entertained by the hosts 11yr old son, who did a marvellous job bless him, and passed Gemma around to be admired and got down to a good old neighbourhood gossip. We had to leave when my tummy was threatening to rumble really loudly and give us away. Luckily we could claim the baby was tired and needed a sleep. We then walked home (neighbours are like 2 minutes walk and we were still 20 minutes late, sheesh some people!) and cooked up our usual start to saturated fat Sunday - bacon and eggs. The same breakfast that we could have had with the neighbours had we been on time. We also had the option of champers and strawberries, but it was a bit early for us. Not for some of our neighbours though. Some afternoon sleeps going on this afternoon I bet. Hopefully I will be one of them.

So happy 2007, if we don't see you before then, and knowing how slack we are don't bet on it.

Monday, December 18, 2006

it was The Day Of the Tentacle!


have I raved enough about this game yet?*



so, we've just been talking about iron-on transfers, which puts me in mind of my own Cunning Plan: to whit, getting a decent image of the Toasty Warm Hamster from The Day of the Tentacle and putting it on t-shirts for all the little Lemmacelihordlings. and one for me. oh yes, I need one too...

it's really not as easy as I thought. come on, I would have thought that plenty of people would have realised the astounding +6 Cuteness of the Toasty Warm Hamster!



but I did find a guy who is making comic strips using images from the game. currently trawling through them to see if there happens to be a TWH lurking in the background, although the chances are slim. the comics are a little patchy, and I guess it helps if you've played the game, but I did think that this one was pretty apt when it comes to Plans of World Domination:



start small, and work your way up :-)


* the answer is, of course, No.

Update: through close scrutiny of Tentacle screenshots uploaded by other enthusiasts, I've found tiny wee hamster images in their inventories. witness now! relatively crappy but tantalising glimpses of (respectively) the frozen hamster, cold wet hamster, and toasty warm hamster -




I suspect victory is in sight. hopefully a cleaner, sharper, only-pixellated-because-that's-retro-and-ironic victory...

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Cunning Quilt Plan update

We now have 12 quilt pieces returned. That's almost half. And here's a picture.

Jasper's Quilt

All very different but all very creative.

If you have a letter bagsed and still haven't put puff paint to fabric please think about getting it done over the next few weeks. It didn't get done before the birth... It won't get done before Christmas. I definately want it finished before he turns one! I think that's an achieveable goal. Let me know if you need any help with materials. (Ob, I have all the dyes if you are still keen on the tie-dye)

Also, JaneDoe appears to have skipped the country without doing her square, so I guess that means Q is now up for grabs again. (unless someone knows for sure that she wants to do it when she returns... whenever that might be)

I better get my squares done....

Thanks everyone.

Genius!

TASMANIA'S bushfire crisis would not be so severe if the state's forests had been logged rather than protected, Federal Forestry Minister Eric Abetz said today.

Don't need no stinking trees. They just catch on fire. Log Log Log

Friday, December 08, 2006

Walk with me

Howard sketched the changing attitudes of the aspirational voter in an interview with the Herald two weeks before he called the 2004 election: "The old story … you see a bloke driving by in a Rolls-Royce in America, you say, 'I'll have one of those one day'. But sometimes the old Australian [attitude] resents the fact that somebody else has got it.'

Err, no. We think (a) he's done his dough, and (b) wanker.
Dickhead.

Cheney's Gay Daughter is Pregnant

The palm of my sword hand is tingling.
US Vice president Cheney has a gay daughter, Mary. For all the usual suspects this is, and has been for a long time, a big deal because they are small minded embarrassments to humanity who will ensure the aliens simply bomb us from orbit.
Well, now she's pregnant. Quelle damage!

"Not only is she [Mary Cheney] doing a disservice to her child, she's voiding all the effort her father put into the Bush Administration," said Janice Shaw Crouse, hag-faced bitch and a senior fellow at the Beverly LaHaye Institute, run by Concerned Women for America.

So, Mary is selfish for (a) wanting a child; and (b) for not considering her father's politcal position?
No, Janice: you are the selfish one.

"Children deserve the very best we can offer, and gay adoption - by definition - intentionally denies children either a mother or a father," said Carrie Gordon Earll, a self-righteous lunatic with no sense of reality or compassion and an analyst for Focus on the Family. "Adoption laws should put the needs of children first, above the desires of adults."

So, it is better for a child to remain a ward of the state than to miss out on ONE of a mother or a father?
And, the always unspoken, 'single parents are incapable of raising children' is there too. Hmm, lets look at the numbers on that one.
'Put the needs of children above the desires of adults'!!!! What planet is she from? Children only exist - by definition - due to the desires of adults, you moron. Adults want kids, or just sex. Ergo: kids.
Yes, children deserve the best we can give them. The best we can give them is a loving environment; a hopeful future; a functioning democracy; an education; inspiration to be good people; a desire to better the world; a decent minimum wage so they can avoid poverty traps and all the associated problems of low socio-economic status etc etc So, you will deny that to a child because it's parents would be gay? The desire of an adult that get trumped by the child's here is the desire to be a bigotted fuckwit.

As lmh pointed out: Mary's kid has rich parents - it'll be fine! If you want to worry about children in need then look at poor people.

Think of the children?
I am.
That is why I am cleansing the world of stupid fucks like you.

Also, I'm sure you'll all be glad Howard has made nannies tax-deductable to help women get back into the workforce. Of course, you have to pay for the nanny up front, then claim it next year. I swear he must genuinely look perplexed when people say 'middle class welfare' to him.

Soylent Green is people? Yeah, well in my dis/utopic vision (a) only people who anger me get processed and (b) they deserved it.
"I'm sorry, you can no longer be classified as 'human'. You have been reassigned as...(checks list).. Food for the Worthy!"

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Water on Mars

http://blog.wired.com/gadgets/2006/12/flowing_water_o.html

Well, pretty much for sure, anyway. Cool huh?

I figure we're just a couple of short decades from flying cars now.

lmh

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Check out: Will type for food

http://willtypeforfood.blogspot.com/ is good fun.

Check out Alan Kohler's 2006 Political Cliche Market Report

and other solid blogging fare such as the recent Victorian election

"As a matter of fact, about the only party with clear policies is the little known Party For The Worship of Gaknor The Magnificient, which stands on a platform of Death, Destruction, a Reign of Blood, Fire, Torment, and More Public Transport, which is why I voted for them."

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

New KenoAtHome!

(or Tax on the Mathematically Disinclined)

I'm a geek.

I went the other day to visit the lovely Cozling at work at the West Ryde Leagues Club and Government Pension Reclaiming Centre, and while I waited for her to finish her shift I perused all that was available to me in the manner of flashing lights that take my money away. I read some of the pamphlets on the table, issued by the government, which inform you that the chances of you leaving with as much money as you walked in with are mathematically insignificant. No surprises there. I also read that poker machines in NSW are required by law to return 85% of the money put into them, which was kind of interesting, if only because it made me wonder how they check. And then I found the Keno rules.

Did I mention that I'm a geek?

The first page of the Keno rules says in BIG SHINY LETTERS that if I win the 10 number jackpot I could win ONE MILLION DOLLARS! The last page of the Keno rules tells me in tiny legalistic print that the odds of winning the 10 number jackpot are 1 in 8,911,711. Wow! And I thought the pokies were bad! Thats like an 11% payout rate. But thats only one of the MANY EXCITING PRIZES you could win on a 10 number bet, so I wrote a little computer program to tell me the odds on the whole game.

Oh yeah; wallowing in geek city over here...

The payout for Keno varies, depending on how many numbers you play, from under 65% to microscopically above 75%. For every dollar game you play, they just put 25 cents in their pocket and then start thinking about prizes. And it gets better, because the vast majority of prizes are pissy little things, like $10 or less, and everyone knows that if you win a pissy little prize you just put it back in the game... and they take another 25 cents out of every dollar.

So now, using the miracle of modern mathematics, RobCo is proud to present KenoAtHome! Just like the real game but with BETTER ODDS! Plus the drinks are cheaper! Ready to play?

1) Take a coin out of your pocket.
2) Flip it.
3) If it was heads, send me 50 cents; if it was tails, I owe you 25 cents.
4) Repeat as desired, and send me the results!*

* RobCo reserves the right to refuse payment for any results which differ from the mathematical norm by more than 1 standard deviation.**

** results differing from the norm by greater than 1 standard deviation can be detected if you can answer the following question in the affirmative: "Does RobCo owe me more than 50 cents?"***

*** prizes will be rounded down to the nearest whole dollar.

**** "Geek" is a wholly owned trademark of RobCo.

Monday, December 04, 2006

oo!!

Rudd beat Beazley. I'm crossing my fingers that this means things might get better? Lets get stuck into the bad guys now mmkay?

they made milk come out my nose



Look at their other stuff on youtube. the grizzly bear attack is pretty funny

Friday, December 01, 2006

*victory dance*

Its petty, and I know it, but all the same:

*gloat*

Estate Agents of Procrastinatory Doom failed to turn up to our final inspection with the right forms for us to get our bond back... or answer any of my several phone calls... or even find someone who could talk to me when we turned up in person on their doorstep. I thought they might be gearing up to try to keep our bond.

But I found a website which mentions the little-known rule that I can file to get all of it back without their signature, at which point they are given notice and have two weeks to file their own claim. Mostly, I just did it so they'd at least answer my calls.

They never responded; we got it back today. All of it.

For once, the fact that these guys never respond to anything worked in our favour!