Because I was looking for through the post archives today for something else which wasn't there and wasn't very interesting anyways, I skimmed through a lot of nostalgia. So here, for the bemusement of the populace and for the purposes of predicting the future, is the title of everyone's first post (for a given definition of "first", where time-travelling Harry was involved...):
Harry (lying about his age): "Haloscan is crap"
Harry (cheating): "Helpful"
Harry (possibly not lying or cheating, but don't bet on it): "Part 2 of the destruction of Fyodor."
For Battle! (there is an account by this name, apparently): "Welcome"
Mindy: "I'll just make myself comfy"
Destructomeg (after her real first, which had no title at all): "Just coz I can..."
worldpeace and a speedboat: "...oh my god! oh thank you... thankyousomuch..."
Cozalcoatl: "Some Gods are Cooler than Others"
anti ob: "Getting Back to Fundamentalisms"
Stig: "Urban Web Myth" (though I preferred "Self-indulgent political optimism", which was only a couple of days later...)
Pippilicious: "I love Norwich in the Summertime..."
Amanda: "The Weevil Made Me Do It"
Mr Tops: "Hi Ho Chaps, Tops Here"
MrSnerg: "He only comes but once a year..."
DV: "ahhhh the day of flowers!"
Lord MattressHammer: "Water on Mars"