Friday, October 24, 2008

I love big phone companies

So... we're moving house. So we need to move home. Well... how does that work? You can ring them and have the following experience:

"Tell us your phone #"
"Did you say 1234567?"
"Tell us why you are calling us"
"Moving house"
"Did you say moving?"
"Okay. Please hold...."

A human comes to the phone...

"Hi. I'm from Victoria. So how can I help you?"
"I'm moving"
"Okay... I'll put you through to moving."

< insert hold music and apology >

"Hi! I'm from Darwin. Can you tell me your current phone number?"
"Sure... 1234567"
"Okay... so what's your new address?"
"321 Awesome street, McAwesomeVille"
"Okay... let me book in your move...."

< more hold music >

"Hmm... turns out your line has been out of use for 8 years, so we'll have to book in a technician to investigate, which will take a week. Or you can book the move from that phone during business hours. We can shut down your old number now but that will make it more irritating to get the new one connected. When the technician comes out. A week later."
"Don't worry about it. I'll leave it for now."

That whole exchange took 19 minutes of my life I'll never get back. I especially like the bit where I told the machine the information required who didn't bother passing it on to the human.

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