Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Going having a wee with Harry

Yet Another Highpoint in the Day of a Young Lad of Three Years Old.

The activity of 'going have a wee' - that of standing up and urinating like a real man - is evidently a new thing for Charlie, judging by the response of the parents, Mindy and D. They are delighted!
This probably explains Charlie's eagerness to share this experience with everyone. He had a wee with his dad at lunch and then topped off the day with a wee with me.
I had already finished doing Mindy a favour by enriching the pile of topsoil, when I heard the little snot-covered one approaching. I hung around in a purely supervisory role and supervised him getting most of it on the ground. Then he ran off to receive, no doubt, more parental accolades.

I don't remember when all I had to do to impress my father was to have a wee, but oh what halcyon days they must have been! Callooo! Callay! It got harder to impress him pretty quickly; to the point where he was forced to give up on me.
The conversation went thusly:

Father: Have you completed a university education?
h: No.
F: Do you have a high paying, stable, full-time job?
h: No.
F: Have you married a fecund woman?
h: No.
F: Well what the blazes *have* you done?
h: I've had three wees so far today.
F: *splutter*
h: Normally I'd have only done two by now!
F: So what?!
h: Well it means production is up fifty percent! I'm doing better than BHP! ...Hello? ....I... hello?

No wonder guys hate their fathers.

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