Sunday, May 14, 2006


Well, this weekend just gone was the rehearsal weekend for choir - a joyous occasion predictably full of alcohol consumption, intricate costumes, questionable revue acts and Monty's deadly chocolate mousse. We're performing* Mendelsohn's Elijah which is a massive and massively dramatic work (hence lots of fun to sing) pretty much word for word out of the bible. Appropriately, the theme for the rehearsal camp was 'biblical'.

So I put together a 'biblical' revue act. Now, being nerds, you must all know Monty Python's Philosopher's Drinking Song. This was my version.

Joan of Arc was a girl with spark who died upon the pyre
Ester was the queen of the biblical scene and Mary was for hire
Samson flopped when his hair got chopped by that fickle bitch Delilah
and Moses, who was slick with his snakey stick, kept setting trees on fire.

The Romans got to Jesus and then Judas got the noose,
David got Goliath but Goliath was a wuss...

Joseph showed style when he worked the Nile but old King Herod was a pedophile
Ezekiel could outwit Hell but never could have handled Jezebel
Hezekiah, Hezekiah was a dirty dirty liar who should have been clapped in irons,
and Jonah made do with a whale's spew but Daniel buggers lions.

Now all these folk we talk about are centu-aries dead,
the only thing important is that Salome likes head.

* Concerts on Wed 31st May and Sat 3rd June, 8pm Great Hall of USyd. It's sounding fricken fantastic, like, really good. *chuff* Anyway, blantant plug, if you're interested in going let me know - i'll organise tickets.

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