Science meets religion

D. "Fitz" Goodwin wrote:
"There are some anti-God people who recognize that we did not have the scientific knowledge 3,600 years ago to write the laws of God."

so wot are the laws of God you ask.
Well I'm glad you did.

Firstly let us examine the givens.
God is every where.
God is everything. (except the french)
God is sometimes blue.

So from this we can deduce that the speed of God ,s, is zero.
god is every where so therefore God can't move.
s = 0


So why is god blue?
Well, consider.
God is everywhere and most 'everywhere' is somewhere else. Planets going really fast away from us draw out their viewable light making the normal wavelength longer. This is called red shift. Now as god is everywhere else more than here and god is blue we can there for deduce that god is in fact moving realy fast mostly towards us but not away. This clashes with our first Law of God : Speed of God = 0.
We must therefore state that God moves in mysterious ways. Our Second Law of God.

Part 2
Harry: The Duality of the Lord.

Sure, God can be both the Father and the Son, but is he a particle or a wave?

Fitz has shown that God's velocity is simultaneously zero and a figure greater than 1m/s (and possibly even faster than light). This suggests that if God were a particle he would be exhibiting quantum behaviour.

Heisenberg's Uncertainty principle states that for a quantum particle either its velocity OR its location can be determined but not both. Since God's location is known (ie everywhere) it stands to reason that his true velocity can never be known - as Fitz has demonstrated. However since it is extremely difficult to plot 'Everywhere' on a cartesian plane you probably cannot apply Heisenbergs Uncertainty Principle to allow further study of God's particle-ity.

Instead we should turn to those who know God's general position but not his form. This is the Agnostic Uncertainty Principle.
On a cartesian plane it is easy to see that the curve representing the AUP is asymtotic - where the closer you get to unstanding God's form the closer you are to becoming a member of a particular religion and thus are no longer Agnostic. Despite the fact that AUP can never be used in isolation to show God's true form, it does present evidence that God is indeed a particle.

Conversely, evidence of God being a wave is plentiful. By deduction, God's universal presence could be explained by him being a wave in much the same way as gravitational waves. God made the universe and fills it as well - a model along the lines of gravitational waves (where they expand as the universe expands and are therefore omni-present) provides a mechanism that is not unreasonable.

And indeed the simultaneous nature of the effect of the Lord (ie simultaneously bringing rapture to thousands, bringing euphoric effects, instatntly transforming matter into other matter) suggests a wave-like form. Admittedly this conclusion is drawn in part through lack of any evidence of particle tracks in changed matter ie The water turning into wine didn't leave the same traces as, say, a neutrino passing through 2 kilometres of water. Research on this front is continuing.

Further intrigue is found in the testemony of those who have seen God's light. Knowing as we do that God is blue (D. Goodwin 2003, Sydney Email Weekly) we can estimate the wavelength of God, and thus the energy in one of his photons ie The Power of The Lord. [Incidently the fact that the Lord is blue does explain why the sky is blue - don't beleive the lies of those evolutionist atmospheric scientists who erroneously claim that blue light is 'somehow' reflected by oxygen more than other wavelengths of light.]

The wavelength of visible light falls in the range of 400nm to 700nm. Blue light has a wavelength of about 475nm.

We can find the energy of a photon by multiplying two constants and dividing by the wavelength of that photon: E = Plancks constant (h), times the speed of light (c), divided by the wavelength of the photon (lambda nm)

However the result we get for the value of E is simply too small! After all, the light of the lord is brighter than a thousand suns.

There are only two ways to increase the value of E. One is to decrease the wavelength, but if we reduce the wavelength below 400nm God becomes Ultraviolet and thus invisible to the human eye (although this would very neatly explain why we can't see him despite his omnipresence). We know that God is blue, so changing the wavelength is not an option.

The other way to increase the value of E is of course to multiply the two constants by a third variable or constant. The bible explicitly states that God is a constant - he is everywhere and has always been so - (and therefore is not a variable). The Constant of God is respresented by (g).
So, to find the true energy in a photon of God we need to find (h x c x g) and divide by 475nm.

The problem is we don't know in what units the God Constant, (g), is measured, but we suspect that the Power of the Lord is infinite or at least very very very close to infinite. Ergo the Lord's constancy must also be infinite or close to it.

We are hereby pleased to have furthered knowledge with the discovery of the constant (g).

In the name of the wave, the particle and the holy ghost.
Amen.