I really want two great scimitars chained to my wrists today, like in that new game God of War. I could really use them today, it's just been that sort of day. I think I got out of bed on the wrong day. I should have tried Wednesday.
I could have used them on that man who sat at my table, so that the waitress delivered my lunch to the wrong table cause I had to sit somewhere else. Luckily when she left my lunch there he'd gone off somewhere so I was able to steal my own lunch back. Except that now a whole pub full of people think that I'm a lunch thief. Scimitars would make short work of them too.
Or I could use them on all the people who haven't called me back about invoices that I want to pay goddammit. I'm trying to give them money, and they don't want to know about it. F**kers. Making my otherwise boring job difficult. I am not in the mood for a difficult and boring job. Where are those scimitars?