In the interests of science...

Or how to put a positive spin on eating crap food.

To save everyone out there from having to eat the horror that is a Dagwood Dog, I have done it for you. What's more, I am also in a position to do a direct comparison with American Corn Dogs. So you no longer need to fear someone starting a conversation with ''So do you prefer Corn Dogs (or Dawgs) or Dagwood Dogs?" because now, thanks to me, you can discuss their relative merits.

Firstly, let me explain the difference. A dagwood dog is a hot dog covered in batter and deep fried. Generally considered inedible, even with tomato sauce. The amount of tomato sauce required to eat a dagwood dog is about half a bottle. Less sauce means that you end up with no sauce on your battered hotdog, meaning that you might actually be able to taste it. Bad idea. Of course having enough sauce causes its own problems, because you end up covered in sauce.

A corn dog is an American skinless hotdog covered in cornmeal batter and deep fried. Generally considered edible with mustard and ketchup. Surprisingly tasty.

So, my excuse for eating them was that I was at the Alice Springs Show on Saturday and for some reason, probably the fumes from Sideshow Alley, I thought that a once a year Dagwood Dog would be a good idea. Until I ate it that is. And about 14 hours after the event I knew it wasn't a good idea at all. And then two hours after that. Still a bad idea.

My excuse for eating a corn dog is that I was at the Independence Day celebration on Sunday and they were cooking corn dogs, which my husband was desperate to try (despite the fact that he laughs at my once a year dagwood dog). He bought two. So I ate a surprisingly tasty corn dog, thinking that it was far superior to a dagwood dog because the batter was light and fluffy and slightly corny and the hot dog didn't taste like a hotdog. However, approximately 7 hours after I discovered that it was a bad idea too. Then another five hours after that.

So while corn dogs generally taste better and are far more edible than a dagwood dog, they both end up producing the same effect. Generally referred to as ''through the eye of a needle". Avoid them at all costs. And if anyone starts a conversation with ''So do you prefer corn dawgs or dagwood dogs" I suggest looking at them mournfully, announcing that you have lost your spoon and starting to cry.