In news that shocked the world, Harry was seven days late in making cheap jokes at Lord Mattress-Hammer's expense.
Daily eulogy updates are still continuing as we really don't know how long this can go on. Someone's got to bump him off sometime, right? I mean, I tried and missed.
But it was will great pleasure that I was able to point out that he had reached an immensely important milestone in his life: he is now *legally* allowed to sleep with girls half his age.
"32?! Celebrate with a schoolgirl today!"