Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Bravery and Tears

Tuesdays are Charlie's day care days and mummy's (alleged) rest day. Normally Tuesday starts with a few tears from Charlie as I wave goodbye and leave him at daycare, which is hard for both of us. But when I get back in the afternoon and he doesn't want to come home yet I know he's having a good time and making friends. However, that all changed this morning. He got himself out of the car, walked into daycare, waited patiently while I smeared him in sunscreen and took my hand and led me out to the sand pit. He then walked over to the toys and turned around to see where I was. I took this opportunity to say I had to go and waved goodbye. He came over for a cuddle and kiss and I handed him over to one of the carers. They were going to get the bucket of scraps to feed the chooks, just like they do every Tuesday. That's when (for me) it all fell apart. Instead of beginning to cry like he normally does, Charlie screwed up his face and went bright red with the effort not to cry and said "Yep, Yep, going get chook bucket". This show of bravery completely undid me. I managed to make it to the car before the tears took over, but then rather than doing all the jobs I have to do downtown, I had to drive home, crying all the way. In fact I can't seem to stop. I feel like a complete idiot and really really proud of Charlie all at the same time. Hopefully sometime today I'll be able to stop crying. Hopefully.

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