With friends like this, who needs to order-in a drunk idiot who puts their bum on your head?
harry is looking down at the broken glass at the base of the loungeroom wall.
h: What did you say when you did this?
h: You took the last swig, said something witty and hurled the glass against the wall.
Matt: Oh, I don't remember. But I don't remember putting my bum on your head either so [shrugs]
You see, sometimes when Lord Mattress Hammer gets drunk he starts flashing his nudeness about. And it doesn't matter if, oh for hypothetical's sake, that this is at a dinner-party where he has met, ooh, say, a particularly nice women called Flygirl for the first time, who is watching all this going on.
Out they/it come/s.
And you just might find yourself sitting on the floor sifting through CDs when you feel someone's bum on the back of your head.
I'm sure everyone has been to one of those dinner parties.