* swell of insincere squeals and applause, slowly dying as the microphone is approached*
..thank you... no really... you're very kind. I don't deserve this...
*genial chuckles all round. some think: you're so right...*
well, gosh, lucky I have a little speech prepared.
*almost-but-not-quite inaudible sigh and/or groan*
I'd like to take the time to thank my gracious sponsors here at For Battle! - really, they're wonderful. I could never have done it without them. this is for you guys! *shakes meanless shiny object* Thanks so much for letting me be part of this wonderful, inspirational project. It's changed my life already and can give hope to so many people out there... I just know it... *looks reflective and slightly teary* ...and I'd like to thank my mum and dad, of course, for making me the person I am today.Wow, I'm so overwhelmed, I just don't know what else to say...
*all thinks: get off, now, while you're not pissed enough to pull your skirt over your head*
... so I'd just like to finish by saying that the world really is beautiful, and I'll spend my time here trying to make it even more beautiful, because isn't that the best thing you can do? I mean, making it less... ummmm... ugly? Thank you for giving me this amazing opportunity. I'll make you all very proud of me.
*cheesy music swells as the stage empties and everyone heads for the free alcohol*