Wednesday, February 28, 2007

It's rant o'clock

Ok... so lately there has been talk about effects of VSU on universities. There was an article on JJJ's Hack programme about how some students are pro-VSU, and some against. One of the side-effects of VSU is an increase in commercial sponsorship. Again, some pro, some against. I'm guessing it's only fair that any of that commercial income should be from all comers. Now I'm certainly not sure if these guys are paying for their advertising, or they just put up their ads without asking, but there is an ad on one of the student billboards recruiting for Men's Gallery/Pure Platinum. Non-touching, dancing only (according to the ad). In some ways it's no more than fair for the pornographic industry to cash in on students since everyone else can.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

even I think this is cool

and I'm not even a great big nerdy nerd like some people.

This site (that I found linked on has a list of numbers from 1 to 9999 and a reason it's special.

For instance, did you know that;

27 is the largest number that is the sum of the digits of its


2 is the only even prime.


is the largest number with the property that all smaller numbers relatively prime to it are prime.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Thoughts on Chicago

The hubby is off on an exciting business trip. All he has seen so far is airports. Currently he is attempting to get to sleep in Ottawa. Here are his thoughts on Chicago.

We are now in Chicago. This is the crappest, biggest airport in the whole world. The woman at the checkout told us so.

Flying into Chicago was surreal. All the streetlights are orange because of the fog. And the whole city is on a big grid pattern. So as you come in it looks like the streets are rivers of fire. Freaky. And what's more, the lights cast intense pools underneath but leave these sort of brownish shadows in between each pair of lights, so the motorways look like they are striped, like tiger snakes. Awesome.

The (airline) lounge in Chicago is so bad I had to go get US$ out and buy something to eat. The food on the flight was - no shit - KFC crispy strips with a lame salad. And this was business class. The cattle classers had to buy anything they wanted, including water, which they are not allowed to bring aboard. US domestic carriers seem to have a strange idea of good service.

He has also found it so cold that his balls are missing. Hopefully they are somewhere warm. Tomorrow he is off to explore and hopefully not freeze to death.

It's Shrove Tuesday Today

Don't forget to eat pancakes!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Aussie cliches

From SMH,

You've no doubt noticed the rise in recent months of a mode of speech we'll have to call "the unfinished simile". People now say things are "smooth as", "boring as", "sick as" or "funny as" without bothering to complete the concept. It's a verbal shorthand which avoids both the embarrassment of repeating a cliche and the challenge of coming up with a fresh comparison.

Labour-saving it might be, but as far as I'm concerned it's unAustralian. Vigorous metaphors and similes are a glorious tradition in this country, as demonstrated recently by Kevin Rudd when he speculated that Sheik Taj el-Hilaly might be "a few sandwiches short of a picnic". Rudd could have taken the lazy course and just called the sheik "mental as", but instead he drew on a treasure trove of imagery that includes "a few bricks short of a load", "lights on but nobody's home", "not playing with a full deck" and "roos loose in the top paddock".

Australians have always been adept at turning a phrase, and the rise of the unfinished simile puts us in danger of losing this part of our heritage. Here's a way to prevent linguistic atrophy: in the same way as we've declared The National Flower (the golden wattle), The National Gemstone (the opal) and National Colours (green and gold), lets declare a National Metaphor and a National Simile.

The National Comparison, prime candidates:

Flash as a rat with a gold tooth
All over her like a cheap suit
As ugly as a hatful of arseholes
Up that like a rat up a drainpipe
Driving the porcelain bus (or technicolour yawn)
Waddya think this is - bush week
A basket case (or cot case)
Putting some zeds in the air
All over the place like a mad woman's knitting (or dog's breakfast)
Bangs like a dunny door in a gale
Hanging around like a bad smell.

All are worthy contenders, but my favourite is a metaphor created in the year 1918 by the artist and writer Norman Lindsay, which became so widely used that it ended up with its own entry in the Macquarie Dictionary (defined as "endlessly renewable resource"). Lindsay said his creation operated on two rules: 1) "The more you eats, the more you gets. Cut and come again is his name, and cut and come again is his nature"; 2) If you want to change his flavour, just whistle three times and turn the basin round. Then he'll encourage you to "eat away, chew away, munch and bolt and guzzle. Never leave the table till you're full up to the muzzle."

We're talking, of course, about The Magic Pudding. The world, said Lindsay, is divided into Puddin' Owners and Puddin' Thieves. Paul Keating used to call John Howard a Puddin' Thief, and accused the Liberal Party of repeatedly using Telstra as a Magic Pudding, "from which they could cut a slice to pay for their election commitments." More recently environmentalists have argued that we treat this continent as if it were a Magic Pudding, and thus are exhausting its resources.

So the phrase "a Magic Pudding" is itself a magic pudding, able to be drawn on again and again whenever a politician needs a rhetorical flourish. Lets declare it The National Metaphor.

Or do you have a better idea? Give us your nominations below.


And from the public:

Vanished like a fart in a fan factory
All hair-oil and no socks
So hungry I could eat the arsehole out of a dead dingo
Sticks to the road like s**t to a blanket
Tight as a shark's arse and that's water-tight (Another person would usually add the corollary).
Flat out like a lizard drinking
Even if he fell into a barrel full of tits he'd come up sucking his thumb.
I'm so hungry I could eat the crotch out of a low flying duck
Mate, I've been busier than a one-armed taxi driver with crabs
I'm full as a fat lady's gumboot
He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag
He's all bark and no trousers
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

Any more?

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Also a nice doggie...

Meet Darwin:

Shes a bit of blue cattle, and a bit of red, and a bunch of miscellaneous: all "rez dawg". She was found on part of the Navajo reservation with her two brothers, and now she lives at our house (well, we think so, shes still checking it out and deciding wether or not to stay.) Went in to see them and she plopped her head in my lap and fell asleep, and it was all over after that - as if it was ever in any doubt. They were calling her Kiri, which we didn't mind, but they gave us the forms with a blank for her name and left us for 5 minutes of brainstorming... we like the scientist (shes going to be a clever dog) and we like the place, so Darwin it is. (Nee Dari, but I know you wont mind Darius, once your mother gets used to the idea... think of it as a tribute!)

Thursday, February 15, 2007

That's a nice doggie

On the weekend we had a look at some lovely puppies in a pet shop, as we are considering getting one for a little boy who is about to turn four. I have no illusions about who will be feeding, washing, walking and toilet training this possible new pet, but I think it's important for kids to grow up with pets. We won't be having five dogs like my brother and I did at the high point of our dog owning childhood (don't believe fathers when they say they think the puppy they bought home from the pub is too young to have pups, she had 10 and we ended up with two, plus their mum, their dad and the other dog who would have very much liked to have been their dad).

Anyway, the petshop. We weren't intending to buy anything just show Charlie and Gemma some cute animals. There were quite a few puppies all very cute and expensive. The Schnoodles were lovely, but I couldn't imagine trying to tell my family what the new dog was. I could just imagine my brother's astounded laughter and my stepfather's "mmmm, and how much did that cost?" and the answer is probably at least two years of supporting a child through world vision so we won't be getting one of those.

So I moved on to the next display which was, wait for it, Shihtoodles. Got to be careful with the spelling of that one. I could just imagine Charlie getting in trouble at school for swearing while trying to tell his friends what type of dog we had. These were also quite expensive so the decision that we weren't going to buy one of these ever was also quite easy.

Then I found the really lovely ones. Just like this one. They are called Spanadors, crosses between Cocker Spaniels and Labradors (Mum is the lab).

Photo from Rivergum Designer Puppies

There was one the same colour as the one above, a lovely toasted caramel colour one, and a gorgeous jet black one too. They were all big eyes, floppy ears and cute cuddly little fat bodies. Of course you couldn't break up the set, you'd have to buy all three. At least that's what I told myself. As they were $995 each (at the pet shop, not sure what breeders charge) I also decided that we didn't need one or indeed three of those, lovely as they were. Also, we want a little dog and these guys have the potential to grow almost as big as labradors. So the search for a doggie continues. At least we know now, lovely as they are, we don't want a designer puppy.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

More Whizzo than ever


I have just started watch a UK tv series called "Sword of Honour". It is based on Evelyn Waugh's WW2 semi-autobiography.
It stars Daniel Craig ie James Bond.
It is awesome.
It has everything you could possible need to go "WHIZZO!!!"

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Twas a lovely picnic

There were only 2 hours of sunshine yesterday, and they happened entirely for the picnic. It was lovely to see everyone there and enjoy the day in memory and admiration for Aveline.

Many thanks to all involved.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Making a statement

Take that Toronto!

I believe they then went off and poppined a cap in someone's ass.

[And here's the wiki reference: In late 2006, a graffiti artist spray-painted the word, in large-scale lettering, on the side of Toronto's busy Don Valley Parkway as it approaches the Prince Edward Viaduct.]

Thursday, February 08, 2007

This One's for You, Snerg...


...and thats just the random stuff we've got in the kitchen at the moment; I'm not even getting started on the cool varieties of fresh chillies you can buy at the supermarket.

So, when ya comin to visit?

Monday, February 05, 2007

Aveline: Sydney Memorial Plans

the Aveline Light and Sound Spectacular moves from Melbourne to Sydney this week ;-)

Date: Saturday 10th February

Venue: Everglades Gardens,
37 Everglades Avenue, Leura.
(edited) We will be in "The Glades" picnic area, which is towards the back of the property for more privacy, and has no time limits on its use, aside from the grounds closing at 5pm. please ask at the gate for the "Aveline Memorial Picnic" and leave your name, and they will give you directions.
Everglades is a stunning National Trust property of which Aveline was very fond.

Wet Weather Venue: (edited) there are indoor areas at Everglades for our use, so there is no need to go elsewhere. when you mention our picnic at the gate, you will be directed to the correct area. we will make the decision on Saturday morning.

Time: (edited) 11:45am for a 12 noon memorial, to be followed by a picnic lunch under the trees as a relaxed wake - so pack a basket and come for the arvo. the walk from the parking area to The Glades can take a few minutes and has some uneven ground, so take care and plan for this.

Theme: Frangipanis, and pink. bring as many Frangipani as you can nick (without denuding the neighbour's trees!) and wear as much pink as you feel comfortable with
;-) feel free to bring Silly String to spray and games to play (the sort of games you'd play in a public park... ahem).

we will also be compiling a book of anecdotes, memories and pictures from anyone who'd like to write something or bring a copy of a photo (don't give us originals, keep them for yourself!). our plan is to scan the pages and create an eBook. for people who can't be here, we'd love it if you want to add your own page to the eBook - more details after saturday.

drop us a comment if there's something you need to know - or just to let us know you'll be there, and we can put your name on the list beforehand.

From the Morality Desk

Which is more fun: taking the piss out of gays or taking the piss out of Christians?

That's right: Christians!!!

In my experience, the people who best take the piss out of gays are gays. I mean, what can you really reply to some man who leaps out of a kitchen and proclaims loudly "I like cock!", apart from "Well... good on you"? Yet no man has jumped out of ANY room with a cry of "The Lord moves within me! ..No,I mean...ummm....I believe in something irrational and instantly contradictory!"
Find me a Christian man who thinks that professing their undying love to a big bearded guy whilst on you knees is sthuper hilarious.
See the problem?
Maybe they genuinely don't know how funny they are?

Dear Lovegodsway people,
Is your symbol in the top left a blob of golden moisturiser landing on an open palm? Or is it someone lighting a fart to the sound of one hand clapping?
Yes, God hates Fags! but what does Jesus say on the matter?
PS How is the whole 'helping the poor' thing going?

At the top of the website you'll see 15 photos. In the top right you'll see a guy who looks suspiciously like me, right next to my friend Steve "Lambchops" McGinty. I'd just like to set the record straight and say that I have never had a deeply personal relationship with a deity. It's not me.

Now, I realise that any of my readers, whom I don't know are, but actually are Christian might be feeling a little bit awkward right now. And might be a bit trepidatious about coming out to me on that front.
.....Isn't that funny?

Lovegodsway says: "Join Us in or efforts to rebuild the Moral Majority."
No. Join me in my efforts to rebuild the moral majority. This time with actual morality.

Enjoy the gay band list, guys.
Remember: God hates Fags!
And: God's a fuckwit.

Of Bees and J.K. Rowling

Of interest to Harry potter fans will be chapter 20 of 'The Mayor of Casterbridge" by Thomas Hardy, that starts with Henchard (the Mayor) chastising his daughter for using country dialect rather than 'proper' town-person words and phrases.

"The sharp reprimand was not lost upon her, and in time it came to pass that for 'fay' she said 'succeed'; that she no longer spoke of 'dumbledores' but of 'humble bees'; ...that she grew to talk of 'greggles' as 'wild hyacinths'; that when she had not slept she did not quaintly tell the servants next morning that she had been 'hagrid' but that she had 'suffered from indigestion'."