Thursday, July 07, 2005

Getting Back to Fundamentalisms

A collection of things from recent weeks is finally coming together: Douglas Adams describing himself as an evengelical athiest... religious loonies securing an even firmer grip on the US Supreme Court... more religious loonies blowing people up... religious toasters on Battlestar Galactica... Harry being Batman...

I want to be a Fundamentalist Athiest.

The non-believers are always all nice and forgiving and "you should respect the beliefs of others" and apologising for the loonies as if it wasn't their fault. And the raving nutbags are meanwhile shouting "Die! Die! Die!" and killing doctors who give abortions to underage rape victims out of their profound respect for life. And the non-believers apologise again and meekly say that everyone has the right to their own opinion but shouldn't that mean that they have a right to theirs as well? And then some more with the "Die! Die! Die!"

Screw that. When did being understanding and respecting the beliefs of others ever get us anywhere with the crazed lunatics? From now on I'm going to scream at them in public that they are going to cease to exist utterly when they die as the universe's indifferent but ironic judgement on them for wasting the one life they were given knocking on doors and annoying sleeping people on Sunday mornings, and that they should get their filthy superstitions away from the children. Honestly, I'd blow something up, but my belief system tells me that my reward for sacrificing my life for the cause would be to spend the remainder of this my only life in a cell with a 200 kilo lonely man named Bubba, and then to die. We athiests need a better benefits package, or at least better PR.

Harry, you are NOT Batman, and if you don't stop telling small children that you are, I may have to kill you.

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